ODE TO COP 28

Like a junkie dad

Led reluctantly to rehab

Fake tears while they bend our ears

For yet another year.

But what better winter break

In Dubai for COP 28.

This time they brought the Pope with them

Revenge against the Enlightenment.

Lord knows what he’ll make

Of mitigation, adaptation, and global stock take.

What if when he takes the stand

He appeals to Science? And even Reason?

Yet suffering through a Papal sermon

Might help to save the Season.

Because if we pretend to be listening

They might pause the agitating.

Placard-waving, woke-sermonising

Disrupting High-street Christmas shopping.

We’ll serve them back an action plan

Re-heated in the oven

Then brace for the guilt-trippy stuff

Recriminations about us not doing enough.

Sssh patience! We’re slowly doing our bit

We’ve added to the conference circuit.

By Noah Waits.

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